Cried so hard...never knew an old old friend could hurt me so badly...I didn't even betray her and she had to write those things that cut to the core...
Revenge...how could she believed it? If revenge was really what I wanted...something would have happened by now...that fateful day...everything was a blur...nothing like this has ever happened before...if an old friend couldn't understand...who could? Things would have been said in anger...
All those years when she was in Australia...when she wrote emails to me.A..when she called me...confiding to me her problems...I listened to her without fail...I responded to her emails late at night...those many years ago...when she was still a self-righteous hippie...I felt like I was always the target of her bullying...all the pinching and slapping...all the hitting...it drove me nearly crazy...told her off but I put up with it best I could...that fateful night when I was supposed to go KL with her but couldn't make it cos I left office at 8pm+ and was by then so sick...had to call her to tell her I couldn't make it...only ended with scoldings and a slammed phone...all the things I've put up with...and now I'm not even worth walking with just because of the things that happened to me recently to put me down...that made me turn negative in this period of time...things that brought me down...and the whining? How can it be justifiable??? What about all those years ago when she talked to me nonstop about her probs...about her family probs...shouldn't I call it whining too??
And a guy whose life she's almost destroyed...who is she to judge me like this? And I thought she may be angry becos of him...what do you really know or understand? I don't even understand or know what to believe anymore...
My new friends? What about yours?? My friends have always been activity partners...nobody that influenced me in any way...what about the countless friends you've been through??
No end to it...no point to go on...all perception...nothing is ever really right or wrong...if I had to suffer through a hurtful and harsh message like this and at a time like this...without even the courage to tell me straight to my face...perhaps this was what I should have done all those years before...and the finality of it...
I guess I should respect her decision...if this is what she wants...I don't understand the finality of it though...maybe she just wants to get rid of all the unpleasant things in life...even if it's an old friend...if this is what an old friend means...then it doesn't mean anything anymore...
Years on...I may forgive...but I'll never forget...how to forget those words??
Yet...I'm not totally without fault...not where she's concerned...but where he's concerned...things being said...the inconsistency of it...don't know what to believe anymore...
Doesn't matter...here is where I walk on alone...here is where I learn my lesson and grow up...here is where I learn to be stronger...Things change...people change...she's right...friends come and go...the past will remain in the past...the present will become the past...and so will she...
Goodbye dear friend...I will not fault you for your decision...even though I don't understand...remember you chose this path first...if ever one day we can sit down together...things will never be the same again...remember that you chose to burn your bridges...perhaps you just want friends around you who're always happy...remember nobody is always up...nobody can remain positive all the time...
Thank you too dear friend...for all that you have done for me...I have not forgotten and will not forget...
Revenge...how could she believed it? If revenge was really what I wanted...something would have happened by now...that fateful day...everything was a blur...nothing like this has ever happened before...if an old friend couldn't understand...who could? Things would have been said in anger...
All those years when she was in Australia...when she wrote emails to me.A..when she called me...confiding to me her problems...I listened to her without fail...I responded to her emails late at night...those many years ago...when she was still a self-righteous hippie...I felt like I was always the target of her bullying...all the pinching and slapping...all the hitting...it drove me nearly crazy...told her off but I put up with it best I could...that fateful night when I was supposed to go KL with her but couldn't make it cos I left office at 8pm+ and was by then so sick...had to call her to tell her I couldn't make it...only ended with scoldings and a slammed phone...all the things I've put up with...and now I'm not even worth walking with just because of the things that happened to me recently to put me down...that made me turn negative in this period of time...things that brought me down...and the whining? How can it be justifiable??? What about all those years ago when she talked to me nonstop about her probs...about her family probs...shouldn't I call it whining too??
And a guy whose life she's almost destroyed...who is she to judge me like this? And I thought she may be angry becos of him...what do you really know or understand? I don't even understand or know what to believe anymore...
My new friends? What about yours?? My friends have always been activity partners...nobody that influenced me in any way...what about the countless friends you've been through??
No end to it...no point to go on...all perception...nothing is ever really right or wrong...if I had to suffer through a hurtful and harsh message like this and at a time like this...without even the courage to tell me straight to my face...perhaps this was what I should have done all those years before...and the finality of it...
I guess I should respect her decision...if this is what she wants...I don't understand the finality of it though...maybe she just wants to get rid of all the unpleasant things in life...even if it's an old friend...if this is what an old friend means...then it doesn't mean anything anymore...
Years on...I may forgive...but I'll never forget...how to forget those words??
Yet...I'm not totally without fault...not where she's concerned...but where he's concerned...things being said...the inconsistency of it...don't know what to believe anymore...
Doesn't matter...here is where I walk on alone...here is where I learn my lesson and grow up...here is where I learn to be stronger...Things change...people change...she's right...friends come and go...the past will remain in the past...the present will become the past...and so will she...
Goodbye dear friend...I will not fault you for your decision...even though I don't understand...remember you chose this path first...if ever one day we can sit down together...things will never be the same again...remember that you chose to burn your bridges...perhaps you just want friends around you who're always happy...remember nobody is always up...nobody can remain positive all the time...
Thank you too dear friend...for all that you have done for me...I have not forgotten and will not forget...
Call you? Never...didn't even know what was going on when you just started ignoring me...disappointed...so disappointed...perhaps you need to know you were never always right too...
Doesn't matter...henceforth not even the memories will remain...
Know that you chose to turn your back on an old friend...
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