Was chatting with SM, and he mentioned he still keep in touch with her, but they talk less now. He said he felt less hurt than in the past, so he felt that he is already moving on. When I was chatting with SM, I suddenly had the urge to add him back into my MSN list, though I was very afraid of doing that. To retain or get back any kind of link, would be dangerous, to say the least. At least that's what many people have been telling me. Not that I intend to talk to him. But to see his name again, would be just as bad; as the thought crossed my mind I immediately banished it. But in the wake of that thought, was pain. And in the wake of that pain, was impending tears. I don't understand why, did that thought bring pain and almost-tears. My heart felt so heavy, so melancholy. I thought I was truly well and over it. I could even laugh and enjoy my activities, and looking forward to meeting new friends. But today the sun in my life seemed to be hiding behind clouds. At work was pretty ok, but coming home straight...perhaps I didn't keep myself busy enough this week with activities...heck...really don't understand this change of emotions. Perhaps the pain is still there...hidden...not as sharp as the beginning...but not totally banished yet. They said that time will heal all wounds; it is true, but my time is not long enough yet. How I wish it were though, so I don't have to go through all this...
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